Wise people often tell us that fights are just as important as loving moments in a relationship. However, there are a few things you should never say to your partner. Keep reading to find out what!
1. Don’t Express Regrets In The Heat Of the Moment
“I should never have married you” is a ubiquitous line we see being thrown around. But should it be said if you don’t mean it? Never! Relationship experts have said that people want to be continuously reminded of why they entered the relationship. Saying that you should never have to your partner breaks the sanctity of that covenant.
2. Don’t Speak In “You’s.”
Many relationship experts have spoken at length about the importance of pronoun you use. Expressing yourself, be it even in open communication, while pointing at the other person always can result in a toxic conversation. It can make them feel targeted. If your purpose is to communicate, speak in ‘I’s’ and say ‘I feel, I want, I need’ instead of the other way around!
3. Leave Name-calling Behind
Calling your partner derogatory names like “slob” or “idiot” in serious contexts can be damaging in the long-term. They make your partner feel ridiculed, and they might start associating themself with the said name. Instead, express your concerns gently.
For instance, “could you please help me with this tonight? I have been doing it myself lately, and it’s tiring”.
4. Non-Verbal Communication No’s
Often we’re saying the right thing, but our non-verbal language is out of line. For instance, asking them to explain something to you while you roll your eyes or smirking at their inability to do something is harmful. If you’re polite with your verbal language, don’t undermine it by non-verbal cues that can be shaming.
5. No Sweeping Insults
“You always do this!” or “You never listen to me” are examples of sweeping generalities that we all are guilty of flinging at the other person. But are they harmless heat-of-the-moment words? No, their effect can be greater than that. By taking a person’s one-off mistake and applying it to the global time-frame, you can risk them feeling everything they were doing was in vain.
This might result in them going back on said things and not doing them again. Don’t make your partner feel unappreciated, no matter how big the fight!
These are just small cues that can help us improve our communication skills. If you feel that despite these things, one of you is unhappy, try to seek a relationship therapist!
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