Parenting is a whole world unto itself and many don’t give it the credit it’s due: it’s the most difficult job in the world. To have tiny humans rely on you for everything and to be responsible for either adding a new person into the world. Pakistan’s parenting culture is also especially difficult because of familial interruptions and rules. Thus, many come to rely on house help but is that always a great solution?
Pakistan’s Parenting Culture
In our society, parenting is – more often than not – helicopter parenting. The child is always being controlled and told what to do and what not to. If there is a set of parents who wish to avoid this, they’re labelled as ‘bad parents’. Helicopter parenting actually restricts a child’s development at the early ages of life. Additionally, in Pakistan, those who rely on house help are seen as incapable parents— “aik bacha nai sambhala ja raha?”.
Due to these reasons, parents often raise their children under a lot of stress, guilt and mismanagement. This translates onto children and hampers their growth into well-rounded humans as well.
Why Do Parents Rely on House Help?
Relying on nannies or house help has also become a class-related issue. The elite are known to have “Phillipino nannies” on their payroll who are extremely learned in their job. Others simply rely on whoever works in their house. There are also those who can not afford to keep a nanny or house help especially for the child, thus, having help is also a huge luxury.
Read more: 6 Things Pakistani Parents Need To Stop Saying To Their Daughters
In many cases, people rely on house help if both the parents are working. Family can not always be relied on also which is where additional help comes in. Otherwise, house help can be there to support the mother in managing the home and the child. Let’s not underestimate how difficult it is to do both.
Should House Help Be Relied On?
However, even though it is acknowledged that sometimes parents have to, it is also important to note that this is not the best solution. There have been countless videos of house help abusing children in the absence of parents- be it physically or sexually. Leaving children with house help unsupervised is incredibly undesirable.
Moreover, leaving children entirely with house help in their early years of growth can have negative effects. They can grow up feeling neglected or more attached to help than to their own parents. A huge tug of war between values also surfaces. The help guides the child according to their own worldviews which may not sit well with the parents— ultimately the child suffers.
Thus, reliance on help should also be supervised and kept as minimal as necessary!
Read more: It’s Time For Some Pakistani Parents To Unlearn Toxic Behaviour
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